I Declare...

Rack...

“It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution”

I haven't really been racking my brain or anything quite so tawdry when it comes to the last post I will make this year. But I have questioned a way to exit this 2010 with hopes of a delightful 2011 in mind. I figured I would divulge one of the most important lessons I learned this year. Take it or leave it. 

Here's What I Learned About Myself:

I'm a Liar. In fact, those of you out there most likely to express how you never tell a fib are most likely the biggest liars in society. I'm not really talking about intentionally misleading people or outwardly lying to others, although there are multiple forms of lying, from lying by omission, and a million other tactics that are lying without really admitting to yourself that you are actually missing some of the truth.

No, I'm not talking about a "your ass looks good in those jeans" lie when it does not. I'm talking about lying to myself...the worst lie of all. Once you're comfortable with this one, lying to others is like second nature. And some of you reading this now are already balking at the text. You're the biggest liar of them all. Failure to admit it to yourself means you're weak. And the worst part about it is, if you're $%&#ed up-your hypocritical ass can't do shit for anyone else.

I learned this year that I lie to myself when I say everything in this world is spectacular. While to some measure it kinda is, to another I am eliminating the natural blessing of overcoming the suffering that is inherent today. Trying to dress up every day, and turning everything into a false positive was a behavioral tactic I used incorrectly in the past, and this year I came to learn that it is worthless and, in fact, leads to a much less rewarding life.

I'm not saying complain about all the woes of the day. I'm saying recognize them. Not selfishly hand them off so others can solve your shit for you. I'm suggesting taking inventory of the difficult when the difficult comes, and targeting every item until you eradicate the obstacle. Reveling in your own victory, and waiting for the next obstacle. It's our ability to overcome that makes us great, not our ability to make everything a fake source of comfort. As Buddha said-Life is suffering-we suffer because we are addicted-we are blessed with the ability to overcome anything-we overcome by daily actions meant to single handily leave us empassioned about life, not obsessed with things in it.

I lie to myself when I leave one conversation without divulging 100% of the truth, no matter how offensive it may be, not giving the person hearing it enough credit to man up and take the Gods honest truth. I lie everyday I write something and change my sentence six times because I need to reach everyone....some don't want saved...noone likes help...people need led. I lie whenever I sit and can stand. I lie whenever I have and others don't. I $%&*ing lie when I can and don't while there are people who would and really can't.

 For that I will no longer paint that happy face on shit that ain't happy. I will allow the sickening feeling to take hold, for I am to blame, and only I. I will welcome this feeling as it, literally, disgusts me to have done less when I most certainly can do more. I will not package my faults so that I am comfortable with some kind of psycho babble BS as it most certainly is entirely my fault. I will wallow in this reprehensible behavior because I hate it. I will call it what it is, because meeting the negative head on, staring at the last monster of the year makes sure I can recognize that monster's face when it shows itself next year.

I will break myself down everyday this year to ensure I can reach my daily potential. So that when I am looking up from the 6' dirt walls of my last, I will see the rain drops and relax leaving this joint knowing I have done everything I was made for, not just what was comfortable.

I will look in the mirror and stoically tell myself some people just don't understand, get-it, or want it. This is fine. These people are placed in my life as my test. A test of my resolve, my commitment. And if they aren't my test of will they are another's, and I will not let them affect me or change me no matter their supposed virtue, or implication to future activity.

What I learned about you:

Somehow, whatever I learned about myself, was taught in some way by others. Somehow, I don't feel like I'm unique, here or anywhere. Somehow I believe you're just as tired of resolutions as I am. Somehow I believe your ready to "Declare"......

"11am NYD WOD"

TBA..

Comments

[k]

"We cannot become what we need to be remaining what we are." - max dupree

[jb]

Fred and I...21:27-Nice WKO with ya.

Thanks

[Dana]

24:47 (m) - banded pull-ups and 35# russian swings
With my awesome partner Jill :)

[Min]

24:05 Heather and Min

Your butterfly kips are awesome, girl... thanks for the fun wod! Chas and Jill- enjoyed the chat afterward :)

[chas]

Jen, I'm glad we had the chance to work together.
Nice job on the 45lb dumbell. I'd love to see you off the banded-pull-ups.
But I bet you'd love to see me run faster!:)
I had a great time!

[Kerry]

Ken & Kerry- combined age:90

28:24 WITH the 70 lb. kettle bell

Awesome job, Ken!!! Thanks for letting me feel like the younger partner today! Usually I am on the other end of things. Way to swing that KB, brother!

[k]

rob-n-kara...the champ and the gimp.

22:47 (M w 45#KB)...we made a good team. way to take over the majority of those KB swings while my punk arse recovered from a way scary shin cramp. holy crap what was that?! more mobility and recovery required i guess. nice to get to know you a bit afterward.

fred...very glad you joined us today, but sorry you got stuck w such a long run! we'll hope to see you again soon.

dana...sorry we didnt get time to catch up. i want to know what your new goal is now that the show is past. youre still lookin awesome.

steve...good to see you still fightin w us. its comin along, eh? confident dave was pushin you.

[Dana]

K - my goal is to be able to wear those short-short pants/tights by the Summer (and look decent in them...). Which would mean maintaining something close to contest shape AND making progress in the legs and butt toning categories... :)

[k]

well then...we'd better go back a few blog posts and check out some of the eccentric/concentric p-chain work recommended for just those target areas...stiff-leg deads, glute ham raises, weighted leg curls and more...get 'em. and it only takes 10-12 additional mins after the wod. though i think you'd pull those shorts off pretty darn well today. did YOU see yourself in those near-naked contest photos?!

will do 'em with you one night when im back, if you like. could use the work myself. take care.

[jen w]

Chas - great workout and I know everyone will be SO happy when I can finally do consecutive pullups! Run was good, doubt I could have gone faster :}

[Mindy]

Mindy and Vicki -- 23:21(m)
Banded pullups, 35lb Russian swing

Didn't think I could do 35 lb and I did it! Next time I will try American!

Thanks for all the encouragement during the run...especially since it was all said in passing! ;) 1.25 miles is the farthest I have ever run without a short walk in the middle of it...a great way to start the year! Yay!

[Renee]

Great job everyone! Wish I could have joined you all but the flu bug is in the house. I'm gonna give this workout a go tomorrow and try it with American swings.
Mindy you need to get off the band I know you can do pullups without them:)

[Dana]

Kara - I love it!! That's awesome - I could use the help if you'll make the time to work with me. So it's a plan! Thx much!!!

[Dana]

... and I'll check out the blog posts on the topic, of course :)

[Dave]

Dave and Steve
26:03m - 55# swings.

Good time working out with you Steve.

Kara I pushed him as much as I could. he picked up a few extra swings and I made up for it on the pullups. Great partner!

My first real go at American swings. I am very happy with that.

[k]

dana...just happened to print those two posts for my binder. June 16 and June 20. i believe there was another one on glutes (rear view) after the nike ads came out after games (late july or aug) but i'm not as clear on the dates of those. try the search box at the top of the page for "rear view" or see if jb may be able to grab em faster for you from the backend.

[k]

and wow...no pun intended.

[Mindy]

Renee, I am gonna get there girl!! March 1st is my goal date...hoping that little extra work on kipping next Sat will move me forward!

[Dana]

Got 'em (so JB, no need for you to look). Nike ads were August 8 & 18, and P-chain is August 21. Thx!

[Ken]

Kerry, thanks for carryin my aged ass all morning - you definitely are on a different plane than I sir! Great work - I like the combined age comparison too. Maybe a new way to classify WOD's = prescribed / scaled / aged!