The Horrors Of ILS...

Chuck, Jill, Kerry, Mason..  
The Chris's...

What if no one told you bullets flew straight.

No its not cancer. No it probably wont lead to a quick, or slow death for that matter. In fact it will most assuredly have no effect on training other than the want to burst into sudden laughter. Yet ILS continues to plague community after community for centuries.

Imaginary Lat Syndrome (ILS).  The act of thinking you are much bigger, more intimidating, and stronger than you really are. A plague of monumental proportion from the dawn of time. A seemingly incurable ailment that appears physically in males from all over the world. Even when they have the back of a stick, they "think", they have the back of Mr. Olympia.

This cute little occurrence is frequent at fitness centers, especially places that have mirrors. Guys roll up and seem to be on auto inflate whenever they see themselves. The puff their chest way out, and appear to hold globes under their arms because their enormous backs gets in the way. And if this wasn't bad enough to do in the gym, the fake back doesn't end at the door.

1. Gain Attention:

The need for recognition and accolades comes with a price....try laughter. Whenever dudes walk around like they need to breath, it may very well draw a gaze, but it won't be followed by anything positive. Half the people that witness the offender either think they have been in traction due to injury, or that they have such low self esteem, any eye contact is positive. 

Avoid looking at them at all costs, because thats exactly what they want.

2.. Impress the ladies:

Physical ILS from males seems to start at the most primitive of levels after attention as a whole...it soon becomes attention from women. Apparently women find huge lats irresistible. Apparently women can't see through the holes that are left when men wont put their arms down. Apparently some really egotistical men, want really shallow women. 

3. Posturing:

Some men feel the need to have some sort of pecking order. Usually due to a lack of confidence. The other two issues are just funny, but this is kinda sad. Its sad that a gender would even consider such tendencies necessary to make a statement. 

Statements come from passion. Passion to do the right thing, even when it sucks. Not how you stand and who is watching you stand that way. Posturing is for someone in need to prove themselves, while everyone else is to busy changing the lives of others in need.

Immediately quell this when you can for fear of the day it no longer stays physical, but for fear it becomes mental (women can be guilty here also). Mental ILS means you really start to believe the BS thats not there, that you are already trying to highlight. It means your ego is so far out of control you hate when others are successful. ILS of the mind means its all about "you", and its crazy hard to come off that soapbox once your on it. 

Join the rest of us in the fight against the ILS we can see, before it becomes the ILS we cannot. If you have the lats of a barn door, we all can see that, but remember, if you don't, but you act like you can block out the sun....we can see that to.

Strength:

Rest

For Time:

Teams of Two:

15-Thrusters 65/95

60ft-Barbell Lunge 65/95

60ft-Barbell Overhead Walk 65/95

6 Rounds

then...

120-Pull-ups *

200-Double Unders *

* Only one partner working at a time throughout. Concerning pull-ups. However many sets it takes between each teammate to complete 100, take that number multiplied by 10, and do that many burpees before moving on to Double Unders.

* Teammate A can only perform double unders while teammate B holds the basement of a squat with either a 35/55lb Dumbbell.

Post team and time to comments:

Comments

[ASH]

This has got to be the greatest post ever! Funny thing is, Greg and I were just talking about this the other day when we saw a guy with ILS...I gave him the benefit of the doubt and said "Maybe he's a policeman. They have to hold there arms out a bit with all their stuff on thier belts right?"

Maybe we can have a charity to help cure ILS? HAHAHA!

[Ash & Mel]

28:41

Great job Mel, we made an awesome team!

[runmelrun]

58 something
We get the prize for the most burpees.
190 EACH!!!!!
Mitchell and T

[Min]

44:32 Min and Bethany

We got through a tough one together, girl. Great teamin up with ya today. 110 burpees each...phew. This wko was almost enough incentive to make me wanna relearn the butterfly pull up!

Janine it was great to meet ya, so glad you were able to visit with Kara and wko with us. You look great, too! Hope you can visit again :)

[k]

umm...took me til we left two hours later to realize we screwed up. we split up our 70 burpees between us. my bad as janine was the guest soooo i should a' been the smart one. yeah, well a.... apologies ya'll.

thanks for welcoming her. she learned a TON and is dying to take back some of the skills stuff to her box to share. already thinkin' about what we'll work on tomorrow before she leaves.

[B:)]

Min, I had a blast! I appreciate u pushing me til the end. Hope ur hand/wrist is feeling ok. So sorry we had to do so many burpees-I owe ya!
Missed the kids today, but very happy I was able to join the fun!

[B:)]

Min, I had a blast! I appreciate u pushing me til the end. Hope ur hand/wrist is feeling ok. So sorry we had to do so many burpees-I owe ya!
Missed the kids today, but very happy I was able to join the fun!

[Dave]

Dave and Ken 38:15m

Only 50 burpees, but after everything else they were tough. BIG props to Mitchell and T for doing 190 burpees. Holy crap!

[Eric]

Funny shit! I knew a few guys when I was in the service who had a bad case of ILS. I thought I was the only one who ever used the that term. Glad to know people out there are recognizing this disease.